2018-08-31

I'm not a racist but society is bias.

I'm probably one of the most un-racist people you've ever met. Since 2008*.
Today I have enough personal substantial proof to prove that a large portion of people who call people "racist" are actually racist themselves. And while it might seem like hypocrisy that I'm here doing just that, the bending factor is that I actually have the fortitude to logically explain myself, which is far more than these actually-racist, calling-others-racist, people do.
And its not because of being defensive. It's because when they meet a person from non-minority who is colorblind they're programmed to be bias towards them.
At least 4 times I can count where I've been ripped off by minorities.
The first in 2013 where I wired a black girl (who was given free tuition at my private high school) $980 to pay for rent and food. She said she would return the money the following month. The following month she deactivated her Facebook and ceased communications. My brother did some research and found out that she was actually arrested for credit card fraud and that she probably used that money to pay her bail. After my brother threatened to hire a lawyer she paid $140 back but never paid the rest. Then she disappeared.
The second in 2014 where a Latino Marine gave me an average rating while I busted my ass working for him.
The third in 2015 was an contract agreement of where I lent $8,000 to another Latino Marine in exchange for $16,000 one year later. The doubling of the money was his idea. He bought a food trailer and never paid me back. No matter how many times I've asked, he wouldn't even give me a cent. So my father hired a lawyer, who cared more about her pot than my father's and drained my father of almost $8,000. It didn't move anywhere. She was played. As she was getting paid over $200 an hour, the other lawyer (hired by the Latino) cleverly played the game of shadow and delay. Asking for an extension, and taking advantage of the court fees and expensive hourly fees in order to drain my father of his finances. And I warned her, but she said that she knew "how to handle Marines" because her parents were Marines. Well this clearly was not analogous because her parents were in union (married) and in charge of her (hierarchy), while this was between two Marines (lateral) with no child (no 3rd party).
Yesterday I was hung up on by another Latino whom I offered a $500 piece of gear as collaboration-commencement gift. I offered it to him in April, and we began to work together creating songs. But he became increasingly lazy, asking to postpone more often than we collaborated (as of now), and saying that because he is the producer it needs to be done his way. I told him that because we met in church under God we need to certify that gift by performing and practicing in Church. He increasingly shifted towards wanting to record everything and do everything outside church while I wanted to practice live. He wanted me to show up with my flute while he had all his guitar passages prepared on the computer in advance. He wanted me to perform and create live while he had all the time prior to prepare ahead of time. I told him quite clearly that if he cannot make music without a computer that we weren't compatible as a team. And that if he didn't have a guitar in his hand when I showed up I'd walk out. That he needed to level with me if he wanted this music collaboration to be fair. He told me to think about it for a week and he hung up on me. I bought him a $500 piece of gear and he hung up on me. Because he insisted use of a computer.
Who's racist here? I will temporarily play the role of the cynical. That these people aren't racist but are actually "just" immoral persons. Unfortunately I keep getting this gut feeling that if I were a Latino myself, I wouldn't have been hung up. Nor cheated out of deal. Nor given an average rating.
In all the above examples when others probably would've given less, I gave my most. I gave to them exactly what they wanted, and when I asked for what I wanted was promised, I didn't get it. Isn't that proof of a racist? Unfair return? A racist will give you less than what they promised they would give you. A racist forgets what you've done for them in the past.
A cynical person might say "what about the other examples of non-minorities falling short of their promises?" First of all, how dare the cynical wrap all these examples as "falling short." Second, besides the non-minorities not being as needy as their minority counterparts, I literally have examples where the needy, non-minority persons' repayment of getting back what was promised actually happened. This non-minority girl whom I lent $1,000 and $2,000 to help fix her car and pay a lawyer to correct identity fraud respectably now only owes me 400 dollars (with $200 in the mail right now). This non-minority Marine I served a deployment with that I am no longer friends with because of differences needed $140 and gave it back to me 2 days later. Another non-minority Marine I lent $400 to pay for snowboarding gear and hotel for his visiting girlfriend paid me back (with some trouble, but no need for a lawyer), within 2 months. I literally have proof of NON-MINORITY individuals showing me more respect than minority individuals. DOES THIS MAKE ME A RACIST?
NO.
The minority individuals haven't paid me back. In fact, its probably about 100% now since 2008.
I will temporarily play the role of the cynical one more time. Well before the cynic comes out to play let it be known that the cynic always seeks a defense haphazardly after the opposing counsel laid out a well-thought-out a-philosophy-based offense. The cynical always scratches and claws at finding anything to quickly save itself without realizing they were never really prepared with that lowly mindset. Anyway, to return back to the role: "It's because of the long-term oppression that minorities feel the need to break promises." Actually this is not a cynical statement. It's pretty damning instead. It illustrates that the minorities should just be allowed to be immoral.
They shouldn't. And now I know why America has had to stoop so low in order to want to build a wall separating Mexico (and the rest of Southern American Latinos) from The United States. I've hated the idea of the wall for so long not because of the territorial disputes but because of the environmental disruption it creates. It separates the natural migration of animals and the rest of nature. But when you have ill-promising minorities crossing the border illegally perhaps a wall seems like a better idea. I honestly care more about nature than the people (because nature encompasses people) so I hate the idea of a gigantic wall separating countries however now I truly understand why it's needed. Why people want it. As much as I don't support it, I can understand why a lot of non-minorities are for it. They don't even want the opportunity to be ripped off by minorities.

Now as usual I have to bend this piece of metal back and explain that not all minorities are like these. But lets revisit that word "all." Is 90% of minority interactions all? It's quite close but not quite. But in today's society we often use the word "everybody" in the place of "large group." I have minority friends whom I can trust (for example, one from a public school childhood when racism was an absolute hit or miss, this case absolute miss. And another from a different, African-British culture and is literally in an interethnic matrimony expecting a baby.) But these examples are few and far in between.

The fact of the matter is perhaps not all the people accused of being racist are actually racist, and maybe more probably so the ones who often accuse others of being racist are actually the racist ones themselves.


*In 2008 I made a decision to make the world a better place. I decided I would begin observing all my actions (and how I treat others) and continually adjust the parameters to be an increasingly loving and caring person. If there was racism, I would throw it away. If there was cheating, I would stop. Stealing, I would stop. Etcetera, etcetera. 10 years later I can assuredly say I've stopped. Pretty much I put in my heart the 10 commandments and the golden rule. It's also one of the reasons how I've become vulnerable (and naive) to those who do not follow moral guidelines. The writing of this public post illustrates how I've readjusted.